The Comedy Tree News Archive
Ukraine Counts The Cost Of Demonstrations - December 2, 2004
As Ukrainians continue to demonstrate in streets of Kiev, economists are starting to count the devastating effects on the country’s economy.
While tens of thousands of Ukrainians have braved freezing conditions to express their political views, thousands of factories and workplaces have sat vacant.
With the country's production having ground to a halt, the Ukraine's foreign trade partners are furious. All over Western Europe, entrepreneurs are said to be shouting, "Where the hell are my pig iron and synthetic textile shipments?"
The protest has also turned the lives of the protesters themselves upside down. Those with bad memories (less than 256Mb of installed memory), have experienced domestic concerns with the lengthy protest, inevitably worrying about things such as whether they left the iron on.
Igor, a vodka-swilling, red-face alcoholic with a remarkably low 64Mb memory from the Soviet era, said "I constantly keep worrying about not having fed my cat, Mr Fluffovich. But every time I go home, I realise that I've never had a cat. Is this democracy?"
Nikolai, another protester said, "I'm not worried so much about not showering and having to shit in a bucket - we only got running water in the Ukraine two years ago. What I’m really concerned about is what's happening in my favourite show, Eastern-Block Enders. Did Boris get the job in the anvil factory?"
Yuri, a cement taster from the southern province of Crimea, believes he has probably lost his job, whereas, Madga, a 28 year-old webcam girl on the website ‘Big Muffs’, has managed to continue working whilst protesting with the use of a long skirt, a torch and a 3G videophone.
