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Family in Turkey Proves Clue to Evolution - March 9, 2006
Five siblings in Turkey who walk on all fours may prove to be a vital link in human evolution. The three sisters and two brothers could provide clues as to how our ancestors transitioned from four-legged to two-legged animals.
Professor Nicolas Humphrey discovered the family on a recent holiday to Ankara. “We were riding on a bus and they started chasing the vehicle, trying to bite its bumper - without oyster cards. What animals!”
The Professor, who is actually the same Professor that spent many years stranded on Gilligan’s Island, believes the family are not a hoax. “I want one. My son and I did really badly in the three-legged race at the school fete last year. With a Turkish Neanderthal coaching us however, we may just get the advantage we need and finally beat that prick O’Halloran and his stupid, ginger kid.”
The discovery of the ‘Quad-People’ coincides with recent revelations around the world of other uniquely developed humans including:
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Pogo Petrov - A man from Poland born without legs, who walks by bouncing on his penis.
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Buoyant Bridgette - A woman from Gloucestershire who can float in water using her triple-Q breasts and can survive any car accident.
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Cyber Boy - A digital child who has an Xbox instead of hands, who died playing ‘Bush II: Shut up, serve your country and eat lead.’
The only nation to dispute the Turkish origins of the siblings is New Zealand, with the New Zealand Prime Minister, Helen Clark, saying, “I’m sure that’s Jenny Bartlett and her sisters from Invercargill High.”
The Turkish government also has high hopes for the family and believes they could help with the country’s plans to join the EU. Foreign Minister, Mujahideen Kebab, stated, “The EU must take Turkey seriously. We're going to be big players at the next Olympics and predict gold in the show jumping and the steeple chase.