Stallone Charged for Banned Drug in Australia - 15 March, 2007

Hollywood star Sylvester Stallone has been charged with importing a banned human growth hormone into Australia.

Stallone was visiting Australia to promote his latest film, Rocky Balboa, when he was stopped at customs for carrying a case of the banned substance, Smallactorlookbiggeroids. The drug has been linked to other celebrities in the past, including Tom Cruise, Prince and Anna Nicole Smith’s breasts.

Stallone is rumoured to be working on Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot II and III which are being filmed simultaneously in New Zealand. Director Peter Jackson said, “Not many people realise that before steroids, Stallone was actually a hobbit.”

Australian Customs Official, Doreen Dingo, was appalled by Stallone’s actions. “We don’t allow that kinda substance into Australia, mate. We don’t need it, mate. There’s no excuse. If yous wanna get strong, all yous need is a bit of sun, surf and a shot or two of Aborigine’s blood. They sell it in every pub, mate.”

In addition to promoting his current film, Stallone was also in Australia to research his next film about the life of Steve Irwin. The film will be Stallone’s first 3-D feature film and is entitled Rocky vs. The Stingray: Soul Punch.

Stallone claimed to be excited about his new projects and denied trying to milk his film legacy for profit. “I get the same questions after each of my films. This is the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth and the sixth time I’ve had to deny these allegations.”

The Rocky star is now believed to be filming his fourth Rambo movie. Shot entirely on location in Thailand, the film will feature the ex-Green Beret going undercover to rescue exploited sex-workers in Bangkok, and will be titled Rambolina: First Vagina.