Space Shuttle Discovery Launch a Hoax - July 28, 2005  

Photos appearing on the Internet have triggered rumours that Nasa’s latest space shuttle launch from the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida was a hoax.

Evidence that the Discovery launch was faked also  includes a complete lack of eyewitnesses, video footage showing the shuttle moving in a jerky ‘Thunderbirds’-like motion and six men spotted in astronaut outfits at a local Florida Starbucks within minutes of the apparent launch.

White House spokesman, Scott McClellen denied that the launch was merely an attempt by a desperate Government to draw attention away from its fiasco in Iraq and the failing war on terror, but did not deny reports that Steven Spielberg was seen leaving the White House late last night. He added, “The President and Mr Spielberg are big fans of E.T.”

Prime Minister Tony Blair dismissed the rumours as yet another conspiracy theory, praising the shuttle launch as a symbol of freedom and democracy. He then announced that Britain would be launching its own shuttle, ‘The Guv’nor’, from the future site of the 2012 Olympic Stadium in East London.

The space shuttle Guv’nor was selected as the official British space shuttle after defeating several European shuttle candidates in the gladitorial Shuttle Wars, hosted by Craig Charles.

After overturning the sleeping Italian shuttle and cutting the cigarette-smoking French shuttle in half, The Guv’nor was victorious over the German shuttle in the series final. The ferocious German shuttle, ‘The Fuhrer’, gained an early advantage but was defeated by the Guv’nor’s use of heavy delaying tactics, which eventually frustrated The Fuhrer to death.