Quattro Formaggi Places Third in Italian Election - April 12, 2006

Italy's opposition leader, Romano Prodi, has been declared the winner of the parliamentary election after an extremely close race in which a traditional, four-cheese, Italian pizza placed third.

The pizza, Quattro Formaggi, said, “A mama mia! I am-a so happy! This-a shows, that tradition and-a cheese are still important to the people of the Italy! Excusa me, have you seen-a my wife, Garlica Bread?”

Romano Prodi’s main rival, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, refused to admit defeat, saying there had been irregularities, including "a very large number of ballots completely covered in pasta sauce".

Mr Prodi’s slim majority means that his Capricciosa Party must form a coalition with one of Italy’s smaller parties - widely tipped to be the thin-crust Fiorentina Party.

Fiorentina Party leader, Bruschetta Corleone, said, “We have a lot in common with Mr Prodi’s Capricciosa Party. We both strongly favour olives and mushrooms, however they take a much harder line on eggs”.

The Capricciosa Party will need to form a coalition government within two weeks to take power. Mr Prodi added, “We have not-a made a decision as-a yet. Some of the brown-envelope ‘gifts’ we have-a received have a not-a been-a right. These prospective coalition parties must-a make their brown envelope 'gifts' more like-a an American-Italian pizza – deep, thick and with no anchovies”.