Prince Harry's Iraq Deployment Confirmed - 3 May, 2007

After much debate, Prince Harry will be deployed in Iraq with his regiment, the British Army has confirmed.

The decision was taken amid concern about the Prince’s safety and whether he would be an Al Qaeda target. General GI Joe said, ”Concerns arose when we realised that he is impossible to camouflage. Against a camouflaged regiment, his Royal Gingerness looks like a lone, cherry tomato in a green salad.

“He is also difficult to camouflage because of his royal ears. He has to have a specially fitted helmet but has the advantage of being able to hear the enemy drinking tea or eating scones from 500 yards away.”

One tactic the army will use to protect the Prince is the ‘Spartacus’ strategy. This involves everyone in the Prince’s regiment wearing a green “I’m Harry” t-shirt and a pair of red Mickey Mouse ears.

General Joe also expressed concern at the Prince’s inconsistent performance in the field. “Sometimes he’ll seem totally unmotivated. Then he’ll disappear behind a bush with bank note and a credit card and re-emerge wanting to kill everything. I guess it must be the pictures of his Grandmother that inspire him.”

Gordon Brown said he was happy for Prince Harry to serve in Iraq and denies that the deployment would give him an opportunity for his own ‘Diana Moment’ as Prime Minister. Sources within Iraq have said that the Prince would be killed in action on the tenth anniversary of the Princess of Wales’ death this summer. Government officials, however, said the timing of the Prince’s death would not be tied to any specific day and advised those interested to regularly check YouTube.