Iraq Celebrates Four Years of 'Freedom' - 22 March, 2007

As the Iraq war passed the four year mark this week, the White House asked for patience claiming that there were many hopeful signs of progress in the country.

President Bush said the media often ignored the many ‘success stories’ in Iraq since 2003, such as Limby Corp, an artificial limb company based in Baghdad. “Business is up 300%,” said new Limby spokeswoman Heather Mills.

The war continued to drive up oil prices, creating 'success'  for oil companies. British Petroluem, which recently rebranded itself to ‘BP - Blistering Profits’, published their year end financial statement with only the words, “Mu ha ha ha ha ha.” The profit figures themselves could not be published, as mathematicians do not yet have words for numbers that large.

Tory Party spokesman, Horace Face, who was hosting a special Iraq War 4th Birthday Breakfast, said “This war has been brilliant. People hate Tony Blair so much we might actually win the next election. And we don’t even have any policies or ideas.”

Al Qaeda was also revelling in the ‘success’ of the Iraq war. “Memberships are through the roof and we’ve opened dozens of new branches in Iran, Syria and Pakistan,” said Regional Manager Ahmed Bhoom Bhoom. “Our only concern is that Allah may run out of virgins."

The celebration was not completely without controversy, as the White House was forced to deny that someone named ‘GWB2’ had been attempting to sell the original ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner on eBay. White House spokesman, Tony Snow, said "That’s nonsense. We’re saving that for Iran.”