The Comedy Tree News Archive
Iraq Assembly Meeting Ends In Angry Words - March 31, 2005
BAGDHAD, Iraq - It was supposed to be a big day for Iraqi democracy - the choosing of a speaker for the newly elected parliament. Instead it ended in angry words, stern looks, and poo-poo faces.
Open auditions for the speaker started at 7am, just after morning prayer, with hundreds of hopefuls queuing to impress the parliamentary committee of judges. But the proceedings came to halt when it was time to agree a winner.
The judging panel, which included co-creator of Habibi Idol, Salam el-Cowell, started arguing when they got down to three final candidates - a promising performer with a large moustache and sideburns, Emir al-Presley, British-born Muslim comedian, Shazia Mirza, and Channel 4’s Jimmy Carr.
Those in the public gallery waited and waited, then listened to readings from Michael Moore’s Stupid White Men, then began to argue amongst themselves about who was more manly - Shazia Mirza or Jimmy Carr.
As tensions rose, officials yanked the plug on the live TV coverage. Shouts of “Hey!!” were heard from the two households watching the broadcast.
Many were embarrassed by the failure to find a speaker. "We don't want the world to see things like this. We’re ashamed. Saddam would have made a decision" said Hassan Izabhum, a smelly tramp who was not supposed to be in the building and was immediately ejected.
George W Bush was said to be pleased with the on going crisis, “This was the idea all along. If they are fighting amongst themselves, they won’t remember it’s all my fault,” he stated before breaking into a deep laugh, much like the Count on Sesame Street.
