The Comedy Tree News Archive
Disaster in Hammersmith Forces Comedy Tree Move - January 27, 2005
A drinking establishment in West London has been left in a ramshackle and dilapidated state after a heavy, rotund man took a dive into a hot tub.
Andy George, the landlord of the Distillers pub in Hammersmith, was said to be chasing a hamburger which he dropped into a deluxe hot tub, causing the building to be lashed by large waves of water (not to be confused with a tsunami - that would be in poor taste).
The 41 year old from Newcastle bought the hot tub in the hope of luring some of the many young, large-breasted Polish women he employs at the establishment into the tub. When asked for comment, the Polish workers simply replied “Hello please”.
Sam Miller, who lives in the building opposite, made a statement saying he saw Mr George walking around naked, eating one of the pub’s patented, very large ‘Council Estate Stomach-Filler’ burgers. Miller said, “After accidentally dropping the burger into the hot tub, he did a cannonball-dive after it. All I saw after that was debris and a Polish breast”.
Pete Jonas & E. McElroy of the Comedy Tree, who have had to move their Friday gig to the Litten Tree in Putney, were not surprised by the collapse of the establishment and claim the pub was dilapidated from day one. Added McElroy, “The place was an utter shithole. It reminded me of home”.
