US Embassy Refuses To Pay 'Illegal' Congestion Charge - October 20, 2005

In a situation reminiscent of the American revolt against British taxes in 1773, the US Embassy has stopped paying the £8 Central London congestion charge. American officials claim that the charge is a ‘tax’, from which diplomats are exempt under international conventions on consular relations.

“It’s perfectly clear this is a tax”, said US Ambassador Robert Holmes Tuttle. “We have ceased paying it, and not because our country is near bankruptcy, but let’s just say that after Iraq and Katrina, America’s overdraft is a tad in the red.” He then dumped a 750g box of PG Tips into the Thames River and shouted, “Congest that!” 

As other European embassies prepared to follow suit, Ken Livingstone promised to retaliate by clamping and removing diplomatic cars, as possibly even diplomats themselves. A top US Embassy official warned that if US diplomats were clamped or towed, he could not rule out ‘Shock and Awe’ air strikes against the Mayor’s car, residence and his Mum.

Some Londoners, however, support the Embassy’s actions. West Kensington and Chelsea residents, who are also unhappy over the expansion of the congestion charge, vowed to “free themselves like the colonies of 1776” and have declared themselves an independent state. Most of London was happy to see the two municipalities leave. 

The American embassy had previously filed an application with International Criminal Court, claiming that the charge was an illegitimate tax breaching human rights. The case failed when the ICC pointed out that America does not recognise the court’s authority, in order to breach human rights itself.

Asked about his position on the debate, Tony Blair stated, “Clearly there is an issue here. We see the issue. We know the issue. We have to work within the inner and outer confines of that issue as it leads to other concerns that may, or may not be resolved. That is absolutely clear.