The Comedy Tree News Archive
Paul Burrell to write expose about more stuff - October 30, 2003
In yet another exclusive, The Comedy Tree has learned that Paul Burrell plans to follow up his new book, ‘A Royal Duty’, with a personal account of the events leading up to the conflict in Iraq. The novel, ‘A Greedy Butler talks about more stuff’, will detail the personal relationship between the two leaders which led to the war.
Burrell states, 'After I left royal service, I ended up working as a green keeper at Camp David where I observed the complex and fascinating relationship between George W and Tony Blair. Not only that, but I was the guy who pulled the pretzel out of GW’s throat. I kind of regret doing that now.'
While in service for the President, Burrell was able to see the deep bond between Tony and George W, which led to the Prime Minister's decision to send British troops to die alongside Americans. ‘The two of them share an incredible passion for Haagen-Dazs ice cream and young pop musicians’ said Burrell. ‘TB would bring a whole case of Pralines & Cream Haagen-Dazs to Camp David whenever he was sleeping over. The two of them would stay up all night eating ice cream, drinking Baileys and talking about Justin Timberlake. One night before they went to bed, they threw darts at this huge map of the world that George has in his rumpus room and that’s how the War on Terror started'.
Burrell’s second book will also reveals details of sexual fantasies he had about the Prince of Wales and his two sons, but at the same time deny allegations that he is gay. ‘I just like polishing furniture and wearing nice ties’, Burrell says. ‘Everyone has sexual fantasies about other men. But being gay means actually doing something about it, like growing a moustache and wearing lots of leather.’
Catch Burrell at the Comedy Tree this Thursday where he will be reading excerpts from his new book and explaining why the whole world shouldn't consider him a big, sap who is cashing in on the misfortune of others. 'I really care about the people I’ve worked for and these are my tributes to them. How much am I getting paid for this interview by the way?'
Also featured this Thursday will be the brilliant, Time Out Comedy award winner Milton Jones, with Marek Larwood (Amused Moose and Laughing Horse New Talent Quest Winner), Karen Cockfield (So You Think You’re Funny winner) and Pete Jonas (nice guy but winner of nothing significant). E. McElroy is your MC.
